Sunday, 30 October 2011

Pom Post the Third: Highland Fling

Dear Mumsnetters,
What blessed relief to be free of the Jiffy bag and meet my new hosts, who promised me a week of enlightening work experience, pleasant scenery and home comforts. But first, after a long journey North, I gladly settled down for a quiet night in.
I was eagerly looking forward to the beautiful mountain views. Unfortunately they remained mysteriously shrouded in cloud and gloom throughout my stay, although a few lungfuls of the bracing air effectively cleared the remnants of last night's Merlot from my system.
So my host tells me she's a vet, and having been a lifelong follower of Animal Hospital (love you, Rolf) I was excited to have the chance to see the glamour and excitement of the job at first paw.
I got myself kitted out and I offered my considered opinion on some cases
After the calls were completed we returned to base for some small animal work. My attempts at reassuring a worried patient weren't too successful.
To be honest, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this stuff after all, and I was therefore glad to discover that the following day was to be more sedate, with a quiet stroll through the woods to the duck pond in prospect.
I love to get close to nature, so in an attempt to escape from while playing with my host family’s exuberant children I deftly scrambled up through the branches one of the many ancient and beautiful trees.
Unfortunately part of it gave way under my vast bearish weight
and the resultant injuries led to another visit to my host’s workplace
Battered, bruised and wounded, I returned home for a soothing dram.
I honestly can’t remember what happened next, but my host family seemed strangely tight-lipped when they collected me the next morning.
So, that was my week here in the Highlands. I’m quite relieved to be heading South again, where perhaps (one hopes) my liver will enjoy a reprieve and I’ll manage to stay out of trouble … we shall see …
Happy Hallowe’en!

Monday, 24 October 2011

Pom Post the Second: Pom's Adventures in Scotland

Dear Mumsnetters,

I must say it was not a promising start to my new adventure to be left languishing in a sorting office for several days till my host could be bothered had time to come and collect me. But I'm a forgiving bear, and ready to give the benefit of the doubt.
Arriving in this place called Edinburgh, I must say it was a relief to be quickly given the chance to catch up on "AIBU".

I was a little nervous about what to expect from my host family, especially after the balcony incident in Bristol, but I was quickly put at my ease with a nice version of a fruit shoot (absinthe, they called it).

Which led us nicely on to a bit of a sing-song. (Who is Donald, and why does he not have trousers?)

The next day dawned dreich bright and early and I was off on a trip to the city centre. It started off with great promise as I saw the outside of my spiritual home - Harvey Nicks - but sadly my Mumsnetter claims to have never been inside (hopefully I will be sent to a S&B thread regular next time).

The bus tour continued, showing me the sights of the Scott Monument...

... and a distant Edinburgh Castle.

Later I was taken to the university area, where I replicated a pose commonly exhibited by many of the students in this city, on their way home on a Friday night. The fag was not mine, honest.

I was grateful to have a quieter day planned for the next day, just a kid's party to go to. I enjoyed the jelly and custard and the party games, though wasn't too sure about the game called "bury the Pom Bear in the ball pit". Fortunately my host was on hand to pull me out.

Next day...
Well a bear doesn't like to complain, especially when being generously fed on a diet of Tunnocks tea cakes and Irn Bru, but they really do need to do something about the weather up here. I was taken on another day trip, this time to a place called Moffat in Southern Scotland, and it poured down without stopping.

This is me in front of the ram of Moffat. I wonder one day will there be a statue of me, perhaps outside MN Towers?

As I'm staying with a Mumsnetter, obviously much of my day is spent hanging around cafes sipping the odd macchiato and reflecting on the important topics of the day. Here I am - I'm the one in the MN scarf.

(Apparently Germaine Greer has one too)

Today was my last day in Edinburgh, and it was with a wee tear in my eye that I found they were holding a party in my honour. First the sweeties...

...and then the drink.

It's amazing how much whisky a small, stuffed bear can put away when he really tries.

I've been wrapped up for bed now and am finishing my blog before my next adventure begins. Who knows what delights or indignities await me??


POM xx

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Pom Post the First (cont): Bristol and beyond (belief)

Today did not start well! I spent a long night on the cold, hard concrete floor after falling from the balcony after last night's revels. Ms Krog had to rescue me using a stepladder from next door. I almost wished I was back squashed at the Charity Shop but no, I have been chosen for this greater purpose.

What that greater purpose was for today would be was soon to become apparent. I spent the afternoon lazing in the sun with Fermit and her friends by Clifton Suspension Bridge picnicing on blueberries, pistachio nuts and Tuc Biscuits. (Honey anyone??) Then she announced we had to go see her horse. Somewhat surprised, but keen to be a bear of physical pursuits as well as of the mind, off I went. Yesterday I learnt all about helpful literature and "promoting growth in the local econony through independent consumer choice" (or mooching through the shops as Ms Krog calls it) To mooch is a dynamic verb, so there!

Artistic impression of me in front of the Suspension Bridge as the original has been lost to history

My first meeting with Nadir - apparently it is custom to Sniif First, Attempt to Eat Later. This is a very important lesson when handling livestock.

I was quick to observe there was a noticeable size difference. I measured him and he is 16. 2  hh (human hands high). In Bear Paws High, he would be about 41 BPH.

He had better not mistake my lustrous fur for the hay. 
The size difference in the so-called safety equipment was also inescapable to my observation.

Eventually I threw health and safety out the window and mounted, ready to spur on my noble steed...
Still no.

A process known as "grooming" - educated bear am I. This is a dandy brush. (His fur is not as lustrous)

Friends forever - carrot offered at end of the evening. Learniing about a horse's dietary requirements (i.e. *not* bears) was an important part of my day.

Nothing to see here. 

Lovely sunset at the end of a hot October day. (!)
 So that's it - my last outing with Fermit out and about in Bristol. I enjoyed meeting Nadir almost as much as I enjoyed the Tuc biscuits - and all that learning, obviously I will shortly be off to pastures new - once the hay has been brushed from my fur.

Pom x

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Pom Post the First: Origins

I started today squashed with indignity in a box of donated toys  - facedown between a Disneyfied Eeyore and a Beanie Baby who smelt of endless traffic jams on the M4 and jam sandwhiches. I had been in the Charity Shop a while, before a hand appeared and pulled me upright. Aha! I thought, I have undoubtedly been chosen by some mum seeking a welcome diversion for her beloved cherub.

But no, it seems I am destined for some other purpose. My new keeper is Ms Krog, a secondary school teacher of a somewhat whimsical disposition, who because children at her school would show no interest in the "class bear" idea - came up with this instead.

The setting for my first adventure was a simple yet sophisticated affair that consisted of an afternoon perusing the shops on Gloucester Road, Bristol, one of the charity shops of which I was plucked from mere hours ago. Ms Krog has a fondness for charity shop shopping, as have I, so I'll show you some Points of Interest I came across:

 Here I am showing my literary taste *and* love of revising some handy household tips...

...knowing how to deal with teenagers is always useful - Ms Krog was particulary amused by the section of giving them their own plot in the garden to grow things in. I would be too busy worrying about being buried alive.

I heard there had been a recent dearth of tomato growing - perhaps they need to be by prescription.

I then headed to the local Scoopaway for my healthy organic snacks - for bears with lustrous fur.
Ms Krog introduces me to my new sparkly blog - none of my friends ever had their own blog! I feel speziale now - it even has a ticker!

To celebrate me and my new friends finished the evening on the balcony with a little civilised glass of something.

 It was really, really nice wine. The glass came with its own accessories. I borrowed them.

I did not plan this. Help?

And so that's it, my first day of my new life. I wanted to show you my background and all the fulfilling and civilised things I did during a brief afternoon in Bristol. Ms Krog thought I showed a lot of promise and I think that's enough for one day.

I look forward to my next adventure.*

* hopefully one that does not involve falling off a balcony.

Submitter: FermittheKrog